Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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