Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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