we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
