i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
