Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
