she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
