What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
