Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
