so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize