remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
