Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
