haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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