I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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