So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
