I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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