I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
