I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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