Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize