I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
