Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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