I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
