R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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