can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
