I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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