well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
