Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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