He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
sex in a hospital.. check
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
