Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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