But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
