I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
