I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
