He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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