I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
