I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well you can't waste a boner
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
