was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
this just has baby written all over it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
