I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
