What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
