I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
