Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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