but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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