We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
