So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
