If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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