I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
