He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize