Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
