And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
