haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
