dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Randomize
