I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
