Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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