I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
