I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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