How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
