another moral hangover. fuck.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
