butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
