I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
