New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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