i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
