My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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