dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
