Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
