I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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