I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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