i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
