There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
