Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
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