My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Say something about gay babies.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
