they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
