Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Who died my cat blue again?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
