just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
