If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I seem to have left my pride at pride
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
