Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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