I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
