Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize