You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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