OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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