Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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